The Never Ending Learning Curve

As Robby and I sat on campus (in the hall of the quiet Hinckley building) busily typing away, a small peep crept out of the oversized stroller that was awkwardly parked next to our bench. It was comical to me as the sound of our keyboard tapping became louder as we desperately tried to squeeze out just a couple more words before the inevitable waking of our 13 week old baby girl Berkley. The events that followed were just a small reminder of how lucky I am:
I sat there, fingers flying, a sense of desperation on my face. I was trying to finish my assignment before I put my computer down to comfort the increasingly impatient baby pleading with me to get her out of her restraints. As most mothers know, once a baby awakens from a deep slumber it is hard to predict what little can be accomplished until their next nap. I was about to give in to the idea that this assignment would have to be revisited at a later time. I gripped my computer preparing to set it down and greet that beautiful baby awaiting my embrace, but instead my wonderful husband beat me to it and set his down first. I couldn't help but smile as I watched him throw the diaper bag over his shoulder, acting contrary to the world's idea of a man's nature, and carry that precious perfect mixture of us both into the school bathroom to change her overdue diaper. The expression on her face looking back at me as she disappeared around the corner, held by her much larger and muscular daddy, flooded me with warmth and happiness invested in my knowledge of her innocence and perfection. I was overwhelmed with love for my little family.

When he gets home from work he has no problem taking Berkley to give me a break. He changes diapers, makes bottles, gets puked, pooped, and peed on, entertains her, and even bathes her. On top of that he does the dishes and helps me keep the house picked up. Whenever we have time together it is a unified team effort. He makes sure I know that I am loved and has given me all the attention I could want since we have had this little distracting beauty in our home. He gives everything to us and I am so grateful for a man like that in my life.

I know how lucky I am, and I am determined to never take it for granted :)

It's a funny thing when a baby comes into the lives of new parents. Time that was originally devoted partially to ourselves and mostly to each other is obliterated by this amazing tiny bundle of spit up, poop, and love. It is absolutely overwhelming to think of all of her needs, on top of our own, and the needs of our surrounding friends and family. In one given day there is school, food, homework, sports, fitness, babysitters, picking up, dropping off, cleaning, finances, scripture study, prayers, shopping, cooking, church callings, meetings, socializing, laundry, baths, showers, dishes, studying, etc. Days drag on and seem to never end. When they finally do end, I lay in bed trying to mentally and emotionally prepare for the next day. That alone is enough to cause insomnia for an already exhausted parent. Stress is high, time supply is low, preparation is required but not always full proof, and organized chaos is expected as the daily norm. Parenthood has stretched me to my limits in 100 different ways. I have cried more in the last 3 months than I think I ever have in my life. I have argued and picked fights with Robby. I have been moody, irritable, and prideful. It has been the most exhausting and the most stressful 3 months of my life.
With all of this being said, I have never been happier or more humbled. I have never felt more complete and more joyful than now. I would never change my situation. Life is crazy but it's the best it's ever been. For the first time in my life I feel whole. I believe that it is when we are stretched and pushed that we figure out what we are made of. We learn things about ourselves and realize our divine potential when the most is expected of us. I have never understood the purpose of life better than I do now as a mother. My heart has been so full that at times I felt I could not contain the love I have. My love for my heavenly father has grown ten fold. I am so grateful for this mortal experience as a child of God and for his plan for me. Everything is possible through the gospel.

My life is not perfect, but I have a little piece of heaven here on earth that I get to keep through the eternities. And as far as I am concerned, I am the luckiest person alive.